
Rebecca Gayle Howell (ed.)
et al.
Published online:
18 May 2023
Published in print:
07 March 2023
Online ISBN:
9780813197418
Print ISBN:
9780813182438
Contents
Chapter
The Horns of Horns Valley Moved from Alabama to Arkansas, Gained an “e,” and I Returned Three Generations Later for Graduate School in Creative Writing, of All Things
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Pages
261–266
-
Published:March 2023
Cite
Horne, Jennifer, 'The Horns of Horns Valley Moved from Alabama to Arkansas, Gained an “e,” and I Returned Three Generations Later for Graduate School in Creative Writing, of All Things', in Rebecca Gayle Howell, Ashley M. Jones, and Emily J. Jalloul (eds), What Things Cost: an anthology for the people (Lexington, KY , 2023; online edn, Kentucky Scholarship Online, 18 May 2023), https://doi.org/10.5810/kentucky/9780813182438.003.0114, accessed 15 May 2025.
Extract
(In Memoriam, Allan Wade Horne, 1932–2018)
Youthe first of eightto graduatehigh schoolyour four brothersand three sistersstarting work earlyworking hardproudso proudof theirlittle brothera little awed laterwhen you’ddone so wellyour mammathe seamstressat the ladies dress shopyour papathe timber cruiserin the Ozark hillswould walk milesto townto find the jobbrother Bobdropped him in the woodshe couldn’t driveyour mammaadded the “e”when another Hornin Caddo Gapkept gettingher mailincludingpaycheckshe cashedWhy didn’t I understand?Why didn’t you tell me?we two little girlsgrowing upso easyso comfortablein our comfortwe didn’twe couldn’tyou didn’twant us to seehow ithad beengrowing up poorthe stories retoldas triumphsover adversitywhen someonehad a headacheand no moneyfor medicinedeep in the hillsdeep in the Depressionyou found aspirinby the creekstill in its cellophane packetthe schoolin Hot Springswhere you movedfrom Caddo Gapyou were eightyou had to repeat a gradebut later would sayit wasthe best thingthat could have happenedyou neededthe extra yearyou moved houses oftenyou didn’t eversay whyyou hada little boy jobdelivering papersand you sangfor changeat the big hotelwhen I wanteda paper routeyou said noI loved youI would’veloved youif you’d saidhow hardit wasWhy didn’t I understand?Why didn’t you show me?we droveto Caddo Gapin your Lincolnyour lawyer caryour cousinwas thereon the porchof the general storeas thoughhe’d beenwaitingall these yearsyou marveledat where you’dcome fromI could seethe ghostof a slim, shirtless boyoverall-cladbarefootplaying in the creekobserving his worldclosely throughnearsighted eyesso whycouldn’t I seethat the storyof picking peachesthe hateditch of fuzzhad a sharp pita hard knotof need?Why didn’t I understand?Why didn’t you let me?Magician-fatheryour sleightof handhid the painthat old woundof shamemisdirection saidlook over hereat pridethe clientyou most admiredhad a6th-grade educationbut Ididn’t seeyou worethe same bootstrapsas hesuccess wasthe measureof the manyou werealways going to findthe waythings finallyturned out all rightin the endwhen you praisedhis hard workwhy didn’t I understand?Why didn’t I understand? Whydidn’t I see?I’m ashamedI didn’t holdthose talesup to the lightbut like anillustratedBible storyI saw themwith a child’s eyesI have so many yearsto go back andreappraiseappreciate each bikeeach Christmaseach trip to the doctoryour giftwas our ignoranceyour losswas our takingfor grantedthis isthe longestthank-you notein the world dearAllanWadeHorne
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