Extract

Experiencing 2 episodes of schizoaffective disorder from ages 19 to 24 and living in complete isolation left me completely inept socially. I had a strong adherence to morality and I felt even the slightest deviation from my morals, such as even speaking about bad morality, was a betrayal of who I was. This stringent code lead to a lot of arguments and confrontational conversations during the early stages of my recovery. I had been isolated from the modern world for 5 years, having talked to barely anyone, and I needed to learn how to reassimilate into modern society.

Getting along with others was initially an extremely difficult task. A great deal of people like to joke about doing the wrong thing knowing they’ll still do right and other times they just aren’t going to do the right thing. At the outset I felt it was my responsibility to teach them right from wrong, but I soon learned that my words were falling on deaf ears. My inability to joke and go along with a conversation created contention and I realized that I had to learn to let things go. There are a number of times throughout the day that I simply have to just stay quiet and allow people to say whatever it is they’re going to say. Other times I learned it’s important to just go with the flow and carry a conversation with someone where I allowed them to think whatever they wanted to even if I disagreed with them. After a number of contentious conversations I finally learned that the only way someone is ever going to change is if they personally make that decision. I also learned that there were a number of people whom I felt needed to change when in fact they were fine and I was the one who needed to improve and adjust.

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