Extract

I.

Swiping over screenshots of my first Zoom-bomb, I regret my lipstick choices. My Joker mouth sets off the comedic golds and oranges of my background. Engulfed in flames of someone else’s design, the backdrop is from KC Green’s webcomic “On Fire” (better known by GIF Keyboard users as the “It’s Fine” dog). As I e-introduce our panelists, it’s just fellow graduate students, myself and my scarlet mouth until somebody in the throes of a solo sex act penetrates my peripheral vision.

The video looks homemade. I do not recognize the screenname. I think (and hope to this day) the hands belonged to nobody from our graduate college. With my host(ess) powers, I eject them from the room with a clumsy mouse swipe. I’m about to apologize for the audience—I’m not sure why I should—but more come. Lengthy usernames flood the room. Some avatars are characters from Among Us, that multiplayer game which ascended to one of the informal “town squares” of the global pandemic alongside Clubhouse and Zoom. (If you have an “Invaders” joke, I’ve heard it. Thanks.) I never register this as a “Zoom bomb” (straight from the headlines!) until a prepubescent voice rises among the racial slurs and music to shout, “Christine, you’re hot!”

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